The truth is...I want to know you. Like. Really know you. I want to talk about your first date and why you fell in love. I want to know that your birth was really hard (or really easy!) and you cried for the first 2 weeks you were home. I want to know that you're human and that that is important to you. And that that is something you want your children to know about you...that you're human and messy and open to chaos, good and bad.
So...I'm going to share some of my own truths with you. Truths that scare me...scare me to share and scare me to say out loud.
The truth is...I was lost and then I had a baby. When I was 19 I had dropped out of college but told everyone I was "taking a year off" I had no idea what I was doing with my life. I had never in my life liked traditional school. I liked working and I loved my boyfriend. I was working 2-3 jobs and living at home when I found out I was pregnant with our first son. Finally I was found. I was a mother. I was the captain of a ship. I had to take control and I had never in my life felt so ready (and so scared) to show the world what I was made of.
The truth is...I didn't go to art school. I have no fancy degree to tell you I'm a better photographer than anyone else. The truth is I've spent hours of my life looking through hundreds of candid photos that belonged to my parents and their parents. Snapshot vacation photos. Real life captured with old cameras and film. Sometimes someone's eyes are closed. Sometimes the light isn't perfect. Those photos are still what fuel me today. They help direct my eye and my heart.
The truth is...I go to marriage counseling with my husband. We cry together. We fight. We laugh. We go when things are bad and we go when things are good. And we walk out most weeks hopeful. But some weeks are just hard, and that's ok too. I am so grateful he shows up and does the hard work. He puts himself in uncomfortable situations because he is that dedicated to me and to our family. We were teenagers in love and all of a sudden parents. Neither of us graduated from college. We struggle and fight tooth and nail to make it through every month. And I love him so. so. so. much.
The truth is...I have a tattoo or two that I hate. I love scary movies and hate roller coaster rides. I am addicted to Starbucks, sushi, peking ravioli and mexican food. I sing really loud in the car with my kids. My apartment is tiny, I hate pairing socks, and I fantasize about those minimalist white houses you see all over the internet while I trip on toys and laundry and boxes from when we moved in April of 2014. yikes.
The truth is...I really love photographing families. But I'm only great at photographing the truth. What's really there, right in front of me. So. Hey. Thanks for getting to know me a little bit. Wanna join in the discomfort and share something you probably shouldn't in the comments?! In the spirit of banding together?!
xo // isabel