time to reflect

i'm sitting here, on a cold rainy monday morning. the bigger child has been dropped at school. breakfast is slowly being made and coffee and tea are brewing. husband is home, it's his birthday. he recently fell out of one job and sort of into another. we are quiet with each other. the small child is bumbling around, pretending he's using his own version of whatever tool husband has. this time it's pliers to unscrew a cable. for leo, a blue shovel. we're moving furniture around. i'm on a new kick, getting rid of everything. buy curtains that let in light. little things. a week ago today, it was a brisk spring morning. the sun was waking as slowly as i was. the boys were up early, still not sleeping great in their bunk beds. husband was off on a job, being an electrician. his third favorite thing to be next to dad and hub. it was my first morning on my own with the boys in at least 8 months, give or take a few trips away here or there. and it was vacation. despite all this, like a boss, i got the boys to walden pond before 9:30am. without towels and with too little food, but these are minor details. there were maybe 5 other families on the beach, for about an hour after we got there. the sun still hadn't fully risen and the shade had a bite to it. trembling little skinny bodies, covered in goosebumps, being lathered with cold, creamy sunscreen. an absurdly familiar moment. these kids aren't friends, they're family. and there was something i fell in love with. their skinny little bodies, huddled close. running screaming from the icy water. yet completely unable to stay away from it. and the babies, who met three years ago in a starbucks, tucked into slings and bucket seats. brave little people in a big wide world.

anyway. we baked in the sun for almost 6 hours. when we got home we were hot, and sweaty, and stunk like sunscreen. it was beautiful and wonderful and SUMMER HURRY UP. but for now. i'll take the rainy day to reflect. a week ago today.

camera geeks? shot in full sun, wide open, because that's how i like it (ha ha...er...) and edited with VSCO which is my new boyfriend.