a little over a year ago, i stopped talking about how badly i wanted to take my photography to the next level and blew through one tax return to start my adventure. never in a million years did i think i'd have the courage to book my first session. never in a million years did i think i'd have the courage to book a paying session. never in a million years did i think that in just the short span of a year, i would improve as much as i have. never in a million years did i think i'd have the courage to photograph a wedding, or set myself up for 6 families i've never met before to meet me at a park in unpredictable new england april for mini sessions. but in just one short year, i have done all of these things. i have completely surprised myself. right before i shot my first wedding, last weekend, a friend posted something totally cliche and corny on my personal facebook page. you know how sometimes you read one of these things and all of a sudden you're totally welling up and feel completely embarrassed?! that's what happened to me. the line read "you are what you've been waiting for" and it was like a tiny little brain grenade. the kind of thing that you think you're done thinking about and like 45 minutes later you slap your knee and exclaim "damnit! it's just so true!" sometimes the pressure and the exhaustion and the stress of having had a baby and getting married before pretty much any part of me had even begun to grow up had me sitting slumped in a chair...waiting. waiting for something to happen. looking at it now i'm not sure i could tell you what exactly i was waiting for. for my husband to suddenly be wealthy? for job security? for a good night's sleep? maybe i'd be a nanny forever? or maybe i'd just wait until the kids were grown and then try and find myself. maybe i was waiting to stop feeling so afraid of actually listening to myself and maybe even have enough faith in myself to try something risky and new. the only thing, the only person who was going to give me what i wanted, what i was waiting for, was me. the one holding all the fear and creating all the roadblocks was me.
this is not to say that i didn't spend the days leading up to that wedding with a sour stomach. or that i wasn't up at a ridiculous hour this past weekend rocking in a corner like a crazy person begging the weather gods to behave. maybe that happened. whatever. the point is, i know i made the right choice a year ago. i am doing something that challenges me endlessly in more ways than i first expected. there's always room for doing what you love, for doing what challenges you, for jumping off a cliff and hoping for the best.
of course i'll do a wedding post. it was such a beautiful day with a beautiful bride and groom. i could definitely be talked into doing a wedding or two in the future. and the mother's minis were great, despite some rowdy new england weather and a quite unwelcome breeze. it was so great to meet these families, all different, all at different stages. some with newborns, some with first borns, and some with teens. i love working with new people and i only hope i am lucky enough to work with them all again in the future.
onto some pictures. and another ridiculous tale of "how isabel makes friends online" back in 2007 i connected with my friend Kristina in an online mother's support forum. both of us in a bit of a dark patch (Kristina is probably chuckling a bit at the light heartedness of that statement) we eventually became friends on facebook too. she is a good friend, a great mother, and a talented professional. her little daughter Fiona is absolutely gorgeous. i've been joyfully watching from over here in boston as she's gone from a tiny little preemie, to a tall for her age almost 2 year old who, as i know as fact now, never stops moving, is very smart and never stops talking and is one of the happiest kids i've ever seen. Kristina and her crew lived in CA for a long while and recently relocated to TX. i never thought in a million years i'd ever meet her in real life, but up she came for a visit with an old friend who happened to live in boston! oh, and did i mention Kristina is a photographer? yea, you should have seen the two of us. sitting on the floor in the ICA (in the one freaking room we were allowed to take pictures and where the kids couldn't break, destroy or spill on anything valuable) with our cameras, carrying most of our conversations with a lens to our eyes. i know there will be more photos when she returns to TX. but for now, here's most of my batch.
we started off at the ICA.
then we headed out to lunch...
and then, finally, with the wind dying down, we played outside. for a long time.
sadly, we walked them to the train stop. holding hands by the way, completely unprompted. this was a good crew.
such a great day. if you had told me 6 years ago, i would meet such interesting, wonderful people like Kristina and Fiona, or that i'd be a photographer, i'm not sure i'd believe you. just goes to show you how much you can surprise yourself.